40+ Men Are Sharing Qualities of Women That Instantly Make Them Attractive & These Are More Wholesome Than We Expected

What Men Find Attractive in Women

There are a lot of crass answers to the question, “What do men find attractive?” On the other hand, if you look at AskReddit threads like the ones we’ve compiled here, you’ll find some wholesome answers that might just make you believe in there’s still some sweetness in the world after all.

How You’re Feeling

We’ve all heard the phrase that confidence is key and sometimes, it seems like it really is. Not to mention, feeling confident in yourself feels pretty great! To this guy, that really shows!

How You’re Feeling

It’s not necessarily about if someone is conventionally attractive or the fact that they might seem perfect for the runway. Instead, this OP would rather see a woman whose really confident in her skin and how that confidence creates beauty of its own.

Joy Is Attractive Too

First, let’s point out by saying that this clearly isn’t the point that many men make on a daily basis asking their coworkers, friends, or even strangers to smile more.

Joy Is Attractive Too

No, it seems like this man really wants to see the woman he might be interested in genuinely happy. Not in a “smile more” way but in the sense that he really wants to see what brings her joy and see the change in persona as she feels really and truly happy.

Really Getting Into It

A cute laugh can capture many hearts, not just women’s laughs delighting men. Once again, who doesn’t want to see the person that they’re interested in happy? This person had another moment of genuine joy that they always found endearing.

Really Getting Into It

Getting a good laugh out of someone is great but if you hear someone laughing so hard they snort, you know that whatever they heard had to have been very funny. This is another case where it’s just nice to see such a genuine side of someone.

Great Minds

They say that opposites attract but maybe that’s not always strictly true. For one, most people can find at least one common interest but it’s admittedly not always easy.

Great Minds

As for this man, he wasn’t really looking for an “opposites attract” type of romance but rather the opposite. As a matter of fact, he would rather have the chance to share some common interests with the woman he’s with. So, shared interests could spark a shared spark here!

Taking a Moment

As we’ve covered by now, it’s not always what you look like that draws someone in. It might not even be something about your overall demeanor when you first meet. It seems like this guy has a soft spot for a compassionate woman.

Taking a Moment

At the very least, he wanted to meet someone that would go out of their way to talk to him and vice versa. We suppose this is step one to any relationship but we can see how it would still be really touching.

A Caring Touch

There are little gestures you might do with a close loved one that you don’t even think about. On the other hand, the person on the receiving end of the gesture might not forget it. This one is rather specific but we can see why it really touched this guy.

A Caring Touch

After all, you want someone who cares about you and there are ways to show that other than just big, dramatic, romantic gestures. For him, when she walked over to zip up his jacket when he wasn’t thinking about it was a heartwarming gesture of care.

A Touching Sentiment

Sometimes, there are just words that we want and need to hear sometimes. Who doesn’t need a little bit of reassurance from time to time? It seems like a willingness to offer that reassurance is what this man found attractive.

A Touching Sentiment

There are just times when you need a little reminder that there’s someone in your corner when things get hard. This statement is one that would definitely pick your spirits up when you’re feeling a little down on yourself.

Mutual Humor

A lot of people want to be able to make their significant other laugh. Again, this comes down to wanting to see each other happy and overall compatibility. It’s about compatibility because not everyone shares the same sense of humor.

Mutual Humor

For instance, this guy prefers a bit of roasting which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. However, when he found someone that could roast him back in a joking contest, he was head over heels for her right away.

Showing Your Skills

Almost everyone has a talent of some kind. Maybe you love to paint or you just have a great singing voice and it’s prompted a passion for music that’s kept your attention.

Showing Your Skills

These talents can keep this man’s attention quite well too — this one included. He pointed out that no matter what their talent or passion is, they love to see someone really enjoying themselves and getting into their hobbies. No one can say that talent isn’t impressive.

Even Hearing About It

From this person’s point of view, it wasn’t talent that really made someone stand out. Rather than how good a woman is at something, they’re interested in how much they enjoy it.

Even Hearing About It

It wasn’t just watching them really dive into their interests that draws this guy in either. He found it just as attractive if not more when a woman was willing to share her passion with him and teach him about a hobby or skill that he didn’t know about and vice versa.

And an Interest in Theirs

It’s not only the fact that someone has passions of their own that makes them stand out to someone. That works both ways. When this guy meets someone, he pays attention to both of their interests.

And an Interest in Theirs

They don’t have to line up and, in fact, he prefers to be in a relationship where they can teach each other about the things they love.

Cuddling Up

Everyone has their own love language. So, it makes sense that you’d be attracted to someone who shared that love language and it works for this marriage.

Cuddling Up

Talking about his wife, this man couldn’t help but appreciate all the contact that they had. He didn’t just mean the kind of romantic relations that you might be thinking about. A bit of cuddling, especially unconsciously in the night, really touched this man’s heart even well into their marriage.

Green Flags

It’s not always just how a woman talks to a man that stands out to him. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of other interactions that count. As for this person, when it comes to green flags, a woman is well-received by the women around her.

Green Flags

We suppose this signals that she’s kind to the people around her, even if they only interact as colleagues, classmates, or some other, more distant relationship — although we’re sure good relationships with close friends speak volumes, too.

All in the Sound

To take a look at something that men say they find attractive but get away from personality traits for a moment, this guy is drawn to someone with a welcoming or nice voice. That doesn’t just mean someone with a knack for singing either.

All in the Sound

Instead, he’s referring to speaking voice. We suppose that some people do have deeper, higher, rougher, gruffer, or just generally considered soothing. If this guy finds someone’s voice pleasant, it seems he really takes notice!

Not Scared to Hold People Accountable

Holding yourself accountable for your actions is always an admirable trait that takes some self-reflection. Plus, it can make communication and problem-solving easier.

Not Scared to Hold People Accountable

This person found that it wasn’t just that alone that really made them notice someone. Rather, he says that the ability to hold other people accountable when they need to be is something he finds admirable. It sounds like he’s looking for someone assertive!

Loving Gestures

When you start dating someone, you’re not going to stop learning things about them. You might even find things more endearing as you fall in love. Getting into a relationship also means noticing the little habits your partner has.

Loving Gestures

As you notice these, you might find some of these little gestures attractive as well. That’s what happened when this person started noticing some of his girlfriend’s little habits, expressions, and gestures.

Being Direct

This is one that might not be everyone’s cup of tea but this person found that there’s one trait that can spark his interest anytime, anywhere.

Being Direct

In the end, it seems like he doesn’t want to have to do too much guesswork as to what’s going on. On the contrary, he seems more attracted to someone that’s direct about their feelings. We suppose a bit of transparency could make it a little easier to get to know one another.

Very Funny

There are a lot of things you might want to do with someone to who you find yourself attracted and a lot of them are just ways to spend time together.

Very Funny

Who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship in which they could make each other laugh? Of course, there are plenty of different types of humor, so you might not always have senses of humor that are the same as everyone you meet. For this man, sarcasm is the way to his heart.

Let’s Keep Talking

When you meet someone new and there’s mutual attraction, it’s really exciting! You may even want to talk to them all the time. From the minute you meet someone, the conversations you have can really matter.

Let’s Keep Talking

For this man, the conversations they don’t have can tell him a lot about how compatible he is with someone. To keep the chat going, they’re always impressed when someone is a good conversationalist.

Again on Humor

As we’ve said again and again, making someone laugh can really spark something. Again, this means you might really hit it off with someone who has the same sense of humor.

Again on Humor

One thing that might not be everyone’s sense of humor is a bit of dark humor. It’s the type of laughter that only comes from the right audience and you have to do dark humor right, ya know, to not just come off as mean. Striking that balance is attractive to this OP.

Be Nice to Waitstaff

Kindness really goes a long way in almost any interaction. It definitely caught this man’s attention when he saw someone act so consistently kind. This person actually based this one on past experience.

Be Nice to Waitstaff

It seems that the world is split into two camps — those who are kind and empathetic towards waitstaff doing a hard job and those who seem unreasonably determined to make that job even harder. We can see how basic kindness would win over a rude demeanor.

Let’s Go!

While you don’t have to line up with someone perfectly in all your interests, there are some traits that you might want to share or that really stand out to you.

Let’s Go!

We wonder if this guy comes from the place of an adventurous soul or if he was just impressed with those who were. Either way, it was a sense of adventure that really made him notice someone right away. We suppose you could be outdoorsy or love to travel and fit this description!

A Little Excitement

Remember how we said that there are certain things that you find attractive in someone that might just be a small, unconscious gesture? That’s where this guy is coming from.

A Little Excitement

Nothing really reaffirmed his feelings for his SO like this little gesture that she does as she hurries to greet him. It really showed him that she cares and was just as excited to see him, too! This little confirmation of joy really got him.

Learning New Things

Throughout life, you’re bound to learn new things. That being said, it isn’t always an easy task and it can be very daunting.

Learning New Things

As this man grew to spend time and get to know his wife, one trait that he couldn’t help but find attractive was how eager and courageous she is in the face of learning something new. There are few people who would say it isn’t, at least, an admirable trait to have.

Ready to Go

When you want to think about your ideal traits that a partner would have, there are a few that come to mind right away.

Ready to Go

As for this person, the thing that stands out to him is a woman who isn’t afraid to stand on her own two feet. For him, there’s something about independent women who are able to take care of themselves and come up with their own ideas and opinions.

Getting to the Point

This is similar to the man who said in an earlier entry that he admired directness and found it attractive. This guy would probably agree!

Getting to the Point

Specifically, he said that assertiveness is a trait he quickly notices or picks up on. It’s women who aren’t afraid to stick up for themselves and others, and say exactly what’s on their minds that makes this guy weak at the knees.

What Are Your Goals?

There are some people in life who are real go-getters. In fact, just about anybody can have that attitude under the right conditions.

What Are Your Goals?

It’s something about seeing someone with big goals they’re actively working towards that’s so admirable and attractive to this man. We guess this could be any goal from personal to education to family or your career. As long as you have ambition, it counts here it seems.

A Sunny Disposition

This is another thing that can work out a few different ways in a relationship. Maybe you want someone with a similar personality or you fall head over heels for a complementary personality.

A Sunny Disposition

To this man, it really stands out as attractive when a woman shares a positive outlook on life with him. It seems like this guy has to deal with enough negativity in his life and is interested in forging ahead in a more positive light.

Not Just Agreeing

Sometimes, man or woman, when you go out on a date or meet someone you find attractive, you might try to impress them in any way that you can.

Not Just Agreeing

For some, this can mean acquiescing to another opinion. But, this man is far more interested in meeting a woman who’s comfortable challenging him and sharing her own opinion — even if they came to a disagreement on something as they get to know each other better.

Looking for a Little Balance

We’ve all heard the phrase, “opposites attract.” Well, we aren’t magnets and you probably want a few things in common with a potential partner.

Looking for a Little Balance

This guy isn’t looking for someone who’s entirely different from him but he doesn’t want someone who just is another copy of a nearly identical personality either. It seems like he wants a relationship where they can show each other new things!

Showing Your Style

There are only a few things that you can do that show a lot of personality on sight. It’s not all about looks to these guys, though.

Showing Your Style

This concept is one that this man is ready to admit would make a woman stand out to him. After all, fashion is one of the most visible ways to show off your style and this guy appreciates seeing when women aren’t afraid to think a little outside of the box when it comes to fashion.

A Little Bit Different

There are a lot of things that can make someone stand out. We’ve already touched on style, interests, and more. This guy doesn’t really have anything specific in mind.

A Little Bit Different

If anything, this descriptor is a bit vague because there are unique things about everybody’s personality and demeanor when you look closely. It’s people who really stand out that catches this guy’s attention when he’s out meeting new people.

Spending Time Together

There are some basic green flags early in a relationship that, while they might be the bare minimum, you can’t help but hear your heart flutter a bit.

Spending Time Together

This man is often touched not by how his partner looks but by how she acts. When they were first starting to hit it off and he noticed how she would go out of her way to make time for him too, he couldn’t help but feel a spark of attraction.

Getting Goofy

There’s obviously a time to get down to business and stay serious. There are times you just have to get done whatever you want to get done.

Getting Goofy

In her off-time, though, this man would love the chance to just be a little goofy with a significant other. He just wants them to be able to find happiness in the little things in life together and to watch her light up as she unabashedly pursued her hobbies, no matter if someone else thought they were goofy or “guilty pleasures.”

Turning the Tables

There are some milestones in a relationship that have traditionally been gendered often for not much reason at all other than it’s how things have been done by construct. This guy wouldn’t mind switching up the tables a little bit here.

Turning the Tables

While he loves making gestures like buying a woman flowers or taking the lead in asking her on a date, it would mean a lot and really steal his heart if someone was willing to shake up these gender roles and buy him flowers once in a while!

Let’s Talk About It!

There are times you want to share your interests or opinions uninterrupted. Other times, you wouldn’t mind having a lively conversation about things.

Let’s Talk About It!

That doesn’t mean that this man really wants to spend all his time arguing with a significant other rather than spending time with them. However, a friendly debate isn’t a bad idea now and again. We guess it’s a great way to get to know your differing opinions and where they come from.

Being Upfront

There are some core values that people really value. This one seems to go without saying, but it’s attractive enough to this man that he was ready to put it on the list. No one wants to be lied to.

Being Upfront

So, this guy wanted to make sure that the people he was with were as honest with him as he was with her. It seems like there’s something really connecting about feeling like you can really trust someone.

Stretch Your Imagination

This is one of those things that people can really tap into and create anything. That’s why we call it creativity, of course. This man really notices a woman when she has a streak of creativity.

Stretch Your Imagination

We wonder if he has any limits, like a painter or musician — or if he’ll be impressed by anyone who can show their own personal brand of creativity. Maybe he’s looking for the next great inventor!

Guilty Pleasures

We already talked about someone who found thinks that being a little goofy from time to time is really endearing. This guy comes from a slightly different perspective.

Guilty Pleasures

It’s not necessarily them being goofy that catches this dude’s eye. Instead, he’s apt to notice women who have hobbies or interests that others might find “goofy” or “nerdy” but they still pursue their interests without any concern for what other people think.

Over Time

There are some things that men don’t always get the chance to do without judgment. For example, just take a minute to let out their feelings and cry.

Over Time

For anyone, it takes a certain degree of trust to comfortably be that vulnerable in front of someone else. This guy can’t help but really value when a woman doesn’t only accept his moments of weakness but can support him through the tough times.

This Could Go for Any Gender, Really

Earlier, we talked about how touching it can be to see someone being kind and compassionate to the people around them. This is one trait that many people find admirable.

This Could Go for Any Gender, Really

This man knows that when he sees a good parent, it’s a sign that they’re also a decent human being. In other words, it’s a big green flag when you’re getting to know someone. It’s so admirable, that he isn’t afraid to admit that he finds it attractive.

Honestly, in General

This guy might have had the most wholesome answer of all once you read through the whole thing. All in all, it’s a rather thoughtful answer to the question.

Honestly, in General

When it comes down to it, there isn’t anything specific that this guy looks for in a woman. As he points out, all women are different and there are different things about everyone that makes them unique and beautiful. There’s no one, single trait that makes someone attractive!

Not All About Looks

When you ask someone what they find immediately attractive about someone else, you often expect an answer about looks. That’s not always the case. As for this person, it wasn’t really about looks at all.

Not All About Looks

In fact, the first few conversations seem to be essential here. All this person wants to do is get to know the people around them rather than base their attraction on surface-level beauty. After all, that’s only part of a person, isn’t it?

On the Other Hand

While confidence is great, there is a line. Namely, when people start to step into arrogance is about when some people are ready to just check out and leave. This guy also said that he found confidence attractive.

On the Other Hand

However, he noted that “humble confidence” was the way to go. We’re guessing that he isn’t looking for a braggart or someone that’s too full of themselves. We mean, having confidence without veering into cocky isn’t a bad boundary to have.

Feeling Safe

There are some things about people that you find attractive that you can’t necessarily physically see, or may take some time for you to notice a certain quality. It comes with spending time together.

Feeling Safe

However, once that moment happens, it’s hard not to feel something for the person they were talking to — whether that be platonic or romantic. This guy couldn’t stop his heart from fluttering when he felt he could truly, really trust someone after a bit of getting to know them.